Spilled My Yeti

 

While looking forward to the Saturday Morning Session of General Conference, I’d topped off my Yeti with lots of ice and water.  This isn’t an average size Yeti, and in fact, it’s a competitor’s version of a Yeti that holds sixty-four gallons; we picked it up at the Bucky’s store in Madisonville.

Growing up in my era, folks called their vacuum cleaners, Hoovers.  It didn’t matter what company manufactured the device; Hoover was a commonly known device.  I suppose the folks at Yeti should be thrilled to have had a similar fate.

Rather than set the huge honking container on a table, we have food storage spread around the house, and so…there are three cases of canned ground beef next to the sofa.  It’s covered with a bath towel that makes it ‘invisible’, a mind game that permits us to use the living room as part of the pantry.  These cases of canned goods are placed on bath towels to keep moisture from ruining the hardwood flooring.  The cats think the top layer of bath towels are for them to sleep on, providing a strategic location for staring out the window.

General Conference started and the first speaker was Dallin H. Oaks.  I reached over to take a sip from the Yeti; but accidentally tipped it over, sending several hundred gallons of water and ice to the floor.  It’s possible the amount of water and ice has been exaggerated.  I didn’t get to pay attention to the message being shared by Elder Oaks about how much humanitarian aid was produced by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

We have a supply of older bath towels that are kept next to the washer and dryer room and I made a hurried dash across the house to retrieve several towels to mop up the mess.  It was easy picking up chunks of ice and placing them back into the Yeti; however, the water had spread quickly.  A local fisherman had taken up position on the shore in hopes of catching a big one.  The towels under the stacks of canned ground beef along with the towel that’s under a stack of popcorn bags had soaked up some of the water; not good.

Each of the stacks of canned goods had to be moved along with two hundred pounds of popcorn to keep the water from damaging the wood flooring.  This was accomplished and fresh towels have been placed where the others had been, canned ground beef cases stacked as they had been and the washing machine will get another load of towels.

General Conference continued and the local fisherman decided to go home since the lake dried up.

 

The Algorithm Two Step

 

USS Nimitz

I must admit, I spend too much time on social media outlets like Facebook, time that could be more productive elsewhere, such as creative writing; hmmmm.  I suppose looking at entries of friend’s cats and dogs beats watching the latest news and is good for my spirit.

Interesting paths are created by social media which rely on algorithms, as if the computer memory banks recognize my desires, found a need or simply want to sell a product made by one of their advertising sponsors. Simply hit the Like Button on an item, any item, and the journey begins.

I happened to view a photograph of an aircraft carrier some time back…and for the next several weeks my daily visits on Facebook brought many more images of…you guessed it…aircraft carriers.  There were aircraft carriers from other countries, aircraft carriers with aircraft taking off, landing, short videos of aircraft on approach to land or take off, aircraft carriers doing high speed maneuvers and so on.  This is starting to sound like a rehash of Forrest Gump learning the many uses for shrimp.

About a week ago a friend posted an image of a rustic log cabin nestled in an autumn country setting with trees ablaze in splendid fashion, and I clicked the Like Button.  Now I’m being flooded with images of rustic log cabins, tiny homes, hunter’s shacks along with full size mansion sized country styled houses.  This doesn’t touch on how many photographs on the beautiful fall landscapes on display with winding country roads lined with split railed log fences.

I needed directions to a transmission repair shop for my 2003 Dodge truck.  I’d already talked to them over the phone and arranged for their services; but Google shared my information so now when I start up the internet it has several suggested transmission repair locations, advertisements from those who support Google and would dearly love my business.

A spin-off on having notified Facebook that I own an old Dodge truck, even though it’s not an antique, at least not yet; I get to see images of really old pick-up trucks that have been restored to pristine condition.  I’m not complaining, just making an observation.  Maybe Google thinks my truck needs a paint job to go along with the transmission repair job.

Admiring a beautiful woman can be illuminating as well.  According to social media, I have a crush on several actresses: Wonder Woman’s Lynda Carter, Bewitched’s Elizabeth Montgomery, Friends’ Jennifer Aniston and several others.  At least they got this part right; but who could blame me on these choices?  I’m sure there are dozens of attractive female images to click the Like Button on. Will I have to sacrifice my love of aircraft carriers to make room for movie stars showing too much skin? 

About a year ago I saw a finely crafted violin displayed, you bet…the algorithm has me down to eventually purchase a violin, learn to play and, as a bonus, sends me classical music videos featuring violin solos. 

…And you thought I was only interested in being adopted by lonely puppies and kittens, said the man with two dogs, two matured cats and the newest member to the family, an 8-week-old kitten we named, Thumper, because she pounds the wooden floor while charging with reckless abandon to stir up trouble.  We might have gotten her name wrong; Terrorist Kitty might be more suited for her.

Walking down the hallway at night requires an acquired skillset similar to young parents trying not to step on Lego blocks in the dark.  As a senior citizen, that’s evolved to avoiding freshly regurgitated food, scattered grains of cat sand or any number of toys that at one time had squeakers embedded within their bodies.  I guess this new dance could be called the Algorithm Two Step.

 

HPD Honorably Retired Patch

Not too long ago, while thumbing through the Retired Houston Police Officer’s page, a photograph of an HPD Honorably Retired Patch appeared.  I was unaware that such a patch had ever been created.  Perhaps this was simply a ‘possibility’ of something that might become available.

I suggested that such a patch could be applied to a jacket, specifically an old Eisenhower styled wool jacket that was popular at one time.  I remember being lucky enough to have been given a ‘hand-me-down’ original “Ike”.  A senior patrol officer was retiring, and he wanted someone to continue enjoying it.  This was a dark blue jacket with light blue epaulets.  It came with the original large chrome “PDs” on the collars and chrome buttons.

Some years later, just by chance, a large box containing a slightly newer version of Ike jackets was discovered in the Uniform Supply Division.  It’s been quite a while since then, making my recollection of exactly how I obtained a second Ike jacket blurred.  I can’t remember if we had to pay anything for them; but I latched onto the brand-new jacket and was proud to be able to sport it during those months of the year when mildly cool nights made wearing a light jacket preferable to the standard issued winter coat.

As I recall, the Department wasn’t thrilled with the Ike jackets being worn; but didn’t make a big deal out of it since many officers took advantage of the opportunity.  That, and the fact that the Ike jackets looked so much better than anything else the Department had come up with, it was like having a ‘going to church’ uniform.

When it came time to retire, both of my Ike jackets were handed off to younger officers who considered themselves quite fortunate.  That was thirty years ago, my goodness, has it been that long ago?

So, where is this going now that I’ve brought you up to speed?

Why not make the Honorably Retired HPD patch available to all who have earned it?  Then take that to another level and come up with an updated version of the Ike jacket?  I’d recommend the jacket be a solid dark blue, to include dark blue epaulets.  The buttons might look better with the original chrome ‘clip from the back’ style; however, that’s just an option and standard buttons might be more cost effective.  Such a jacket could be worn to almost any function which normally would require a sports jacket or suit such as church meetings, special occasions, funerals or national holidays.

If someone in the uniform purchasing department put together an order for enough Ike jackets it would bring the price down.  In a perfect world the City/Department would recognize the service of their retired police officers and issue one of the afore mentioned jackets; but knowing the mindset of those controlling the money…no need considering that option.

How much would a new Ike jacket cost?  I haven’t a clue; maybe a hundred dollars, perhaps even less.  But the idea might be worth following up on.

Asked for Help and Got It

 

A while back I went to write a blog post; but upon clicking on the button that normally took me to the webpage that was designed to do that, it no longer had the information I was used to seeing.  It didn’t have a button to indicate anything about adding a new article; instead, it had references to various improvements to help with “my blog experience”.

After having attempted to find the “+” button which would have shown me the last several articles posted along with the opportunity to add a newer post…I gave up, having found an endless loop taking me back to the same gibberish on how to improve “my blog experience”.

My neighbor is something of a computer guru and has helped me on several occasions.  I waited until he’d gotten back from vacation and asked if he would help once again. 

This time I had two challenges for him.  The first had to do with Microsoft 365 and that the little icon at the bottom of my monitor no longer functioned.  It only brought up a blank box that was supposed to have other small icons; Word, Excel and so on.  If, on the other hand, I double clicked on the small icon for Microsoft 365, it showed the box with all the proper icons; but when I clicked on Word…again, nothing happened.

I’d already figured out a round about way of bringing up a blank Word document page to work on.  All I needed was to bring up a Word document that I’d already filed away, erase everything on that document, type in a title for the new document and then save that document under the new name so as not to erase the older document.  Not exactly efficient; but it works.

Turns out that Microsoft screwed up, at least that’s the information gleaned from the internet by my computer friend.  According to what he found, this issue must be affecting anyone who is using Microsoft 365…and it won’t be fixed until Microsoft sends out a new update.  Imagine, if you will, how many customers are trying to figure out how to make their computer open a blank Word document.  That’s a lot of unhappy customers.

Back to getting my blog back to where I could add a new article… It took a while, trying various logical avenues, none of which were helping.  What happened?   Apparently, Google had taken over Bloger.com.  Then when I went to sign in it showed my Gmail address and asked for my password.

Well, that should have been easy since I only use that Gmail for church business, and even then, only for certain aspects of church business.  So, I typed in my password and…nothing, no help and back to the screen showing how to better enjoy “my blog experience”.

Then he asked for the original email used when I opened the Blog. Fortunately, I keep index cards showing all the old passwords and things like that.  Turns out Google wanted to log me in using an ancient email address, one that got hacked years ago so it was abandoned.

Google sent a challenge code to my cellphone; thankfully that number is still active.  Upon clicking on the proper challenge code everything snapped back on and the “+” button reappeared.

I did have to update the saved URL button on my tool bar, the easy access button that takes me to a blank Blog page ready for a new article.  I had to do this for Chrome’s tool bar as well; but that’s all taken care of now. 

My neighbor has a great billing system for when he solves computer issues for me.  He only let’s me pay him with Dr Pepper.