Tuesday, July 18, 2006

“It Happens”, as Forrest Gump would say

Remember when Forrest was running along and stepped in a huge pile of fresh dog shit while being interviewed and all he said was, “It happens”. The fellow interviewing Forrest came up with a bumper sticker, “Shit Happens” and made millions from that one idea; the movie breaks off to show a pickup truck with that very same bumper sticker being slammed, the focus of the camera aimed at the bumper sticker.

It happens to the President of the United States too; reading where Bush’s microphone was accidentally left on while he talked with Prime Minister Blair. Apparently nothing too sensitive went out over the air.

“Tony, by the way we’re invading Iran and Syria Wednesday morning, right after we nuke that blow hard in North Korea. To hell with Kofi and that whole bunch of third world pimps over at the UN, they’re all a bunch of idiots anyway,”, no; nothing like that was accidentally aired.

I did read a story about a fellow over in Georgia who came home to find somebody had broken into his home, stolen his bedroom carpet and replaced the stolen carpet with brand new “ugly” carpet. In actuality, the folks from the carpet store got the address wrong; the job was supposed to be done at his next door neighbor’s house. (story linked via title bar)

I had a realtor send me to the wrong address once; this happened twenty or more years ago ( statute of limitations ) when I still did residential and commercial locksmith work. It was at a converted apartment complex that became individually owned condominiums. The “unit” was supposed to be vacant; however, many had poachers squatting for free. I was told that they were using long extension cords to steal electricity from one unit to the next in order to bypass the electric meters.

I made sure to knock several times before beginning the job, no answer. I picked the lock and sure enough, orange extension cords ran all over the place. They even had a fish tank hooked up to the “borrowed” electricity lines. I changed the combination and left a note on my business card advising the previous “tenant” to call my office.

Later in the afternoon I did get a call, an irate fellow came home for lunch only to find that his key no longer fit the lock. He was hollering and cussing up a storm about how somebody broke into his condo and changed the locks. He calmed down considerably when I asked about the use of extension cords to power his refrigerator, air conditioner and fish tank; maybe being a thief had something to do with his attitude change. I explained that nothing had been taken; in fact he had gotten a free lock lubrication and all he needed to do was to pick up his new set of keys from the realtor; no charge for the extra key that went with the job.

I did call the realtor and let her know that I wasn’t pleased with her sending me to the wrong address; dyslexic challenged numbers, that and other issues proved to make for a short business relationship as I asked her not to call for our services, not ever. She was a little too cavalier in her response, “It happens”, as if it’s okay for locksmiths to accidentally show up at the wrong house, pick the lock open and be confronted by the owner. Getting shot happens too; no, call somebody else, please!

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