How to Worry Everyone All at Once

I went to my chiropractor this week after hurting pretty good and they thought I might have a herniated disk as they pushed and pulled my body trying to give me some relief. I had been awakened in the middle of the night with some fairly intense pain and never did get back to sleep. Each time I tried to lay down there was a terrible pain in my right arm all the way down to the fingers. No worries, Wednesday is my regular chiropractor's appointment.

Today I saw a homeopathic doctor, one that Lucy thinks the world of, and he told me I probably had at least one heart attack and maybe more during the week. I’d always heard that one of the symptoms was pain in the left arm; but he told me that a good percentage of folks have pain down the right arm, so much for that warning sign. I mentioned that my pinky and ring finger were numb and that I was sore all the way up to my arm pit. He kept nodding as he pointed to the center of my spine and explained that it wasn’t my back that was hurting, it was my heart and that that’s where the nerves are.

I was treated by some fancy new stuff that looked like it came from a Star Trek show that he used to help fix various problems. I still have to stay in bed for the next three days to let the damaged tissue mend; but it beats the heck out of having to stay in a hospital and put up with the mainstream doc in the box idiots that my HMO has on the payroll.

My parents and my kids are screaming at me for not trusting in the “real doctors” and for going to some kind of “quack”. I actually have more trust in an old fashioned homeopathic healer than I do with the pill pushing knife wielding MD’s. I better not die; at least not any time soon, or boy, will I be in big trouble.

I called to have a couple of priesthood holders from the Church stop by and give me a blessing; but as far as the non believing world goes, I may as well called the local witch doctors to shake a few bones in a cup, spit in the fire and toss a dead cat over the fence. I better get back in bed and get some rest. Lucy said I wouldn’t enjoy blogging with a broken leg; smiling at me with all her worries hidden behind that smile.