The Jiggle Bed

Lucy and I saved up and bought one of those fancy “Sleep Number Beds” about a year ago; I’m a “35”. We spent a few extra bucks to have some extra features; the mattress that lets you lift the head or the legs to conform to comfort along with a vibrator built in that soothes away a rough day. This past week I was hurting pretty good and just wanted to find a way to get comfortable and catch some shut eye. Lucy pushed the wrong button and the next thing I knew the bed had me folded like a taco. The improbable part was that it felt better so we modified it only a little and set the vibrator going until I dozed off into a light sleep. The vibrator mode has a secondary button which makes it feel like a wave moving back and forth until it times out after twenty minutes.

Many years ago Lucy and I drove from Houston to see my folks in Florida. The first leg of the trip took as far as Tallahassee where we wanted to get a good night’s sleep before pushing on the rest of the way the next day. They had one of those “jiggle beds”, the kind where you drop a quarter in the slot and get 15 minutes worth of vibration to help you get off to sleep. The only problem was that the mechanism that’s supposed to be affixed to the bed in order to transfer the vibrations was no longer affixed. I dropped the quarter in and the box began jumping around inside the box spring mattress; thumping and bumping and making all manner of racket but nothing that would be relaxing. I’d wasted a quarter and could only hope that racket would stop so I could get some sleep.

We noticed, after a few minutes, that the folks in the adjacent room had taken notice of the thumping and bumping that must have amused their imagination as they began to marvel at our “stamina”. I popped another quarter in the device and was prepared to continue until I ran out of quarters as the gasps and laughter continued from the other side of the wall. “They must be newlyweds” and related amazement mixed with laughter applauded our presumed horizontal performance.

The next morning as we exited the room and headed down to our car to finish the second leg of the trip I made it a point to give a “thumbs up” high sign to the curious fellow watching from the adjoining room, a broad smile on his face as he nodded back. I wonder what he wrote in his journal that night.