Slow Start Friday

Business has been okay this week, well, maybe not so good today; but the sun’s still up and there’s plenty of time to make a go of it. I’ve walked away from some jobs this week, jobs that would only be a headache.

One of my body shop customers had a Hummer H3 door lock that he wanted me to work on. In the dictionary next to “POS” there’s a long list; near the top of that list is the H3 lock. This is the same lock design used on the Colorado in case you wonder why your factory key sticks and doesn’t turn sometimes.

My daughter is in engineering school learning the math needed to enter that field; what kind of school did the folks who designed the H3 lock go to? After insulting my customer’s lock for a few minutes I handed it to him and explained that he could take it to the Hummer dealership down the road. I went on about how if I worked on it, that it would forever become “my” problem and how I’d rather Hummer be the ones to work on it; thirty five dollars only buys so much.

Yesterday John, another regular customer, called and wanted me to work on an 06 Malibu door lock. He had the ignition key; but it wouldn’t turn in the door lock. This wonderful GM lock uses the “Z” keyway which has a tendency to “hammer” those flimsy little lock wafers as it goes in and out each time you use the key. It doesn’t take much to bend or crack one of the wafers; instant malfunction. A quick review in my head as to what was entailed in taking the lock out of the door, fixing it, putting it back together and justifying any price charged flat out doesn’t make for good business.

I’d originally told my long time customer and friend to take it to GM and let them cover it under any presumed warranty left on that fine automobile. He then begged and pleaded, enough for me to come by. I told him I’d drive over, look at his 06 Malibu lock; THEN I’d insult his lock before letting him take it to GM. Several of the folks who work there have known me for years and we always shake hands and have a good time shooting the breeze about this, that or the other so it was no big deal telling him that his rotten no good 06 Malibu lock wasn’t going to be worked on by me.

Going back to the dictionary where “POS” has its list; the “Z” keyway locks are just a tad lower down from the H3 style locks. I was reminded of something from years back when I was on patrol with HPD and shared it with John and friends.

While driving my blue and white city ride I would stop by and visit a mechanic who used to do small electronic repairs on the side, radios and car stereos. Somebody brought him a unit to work on and I’ll never forget how he handled it.

“I don’t work on That particular brand; but there is a company, down the street, where you might take it.” There was a large blue rectangular box at the end of the block, “You put it in that box and once a week they come by to collect”, he’d pointed to the BFI dumpster next to the Stop & Go store and let out a deep belly laugh while the potential customer’s smile turned to anger for the insult.

I made keys for an old “beater” at one of my hole in the wall car lots one time many years back. While filling out the temporary key tag, where it asks for Year, Make, Model and, under where it asks for Color; I wrote, “BFI Blue”, to indicate the potential use for such a POS. My humor, something of a question mark at times, get’s me through days like today.

My cell phone rang in the middle of our joking about that fine lock that wasn’t going to be worked on. My friend John, the one who’d called me to begin with said, “You need to answer that; might be a Real Customer.” They all laughed as I went into my “answer the phone mode” of being serious. I looked at the caller ID and recognized one of my larger car dealership’s number on the information screen.

“Good afternoon, T. F. Stern & Company, locksmiths; is this a Real Customer?” I gave a quick glance to my friends as they were falling out of their chairs laughing. Turns out it was a Real job; they’d lost a set of keys to an 03 Ranger and needed them right away.

One of the many and varied telephones in our house rang a while ago and it took a moment to figure out which phone was ringing. Lucy had a couple of her friends over to do some canning and with the extra cell phones it was almost comical.

Back when I was a young police officer we were advised to be suspicious of folks with extra phones in their houses because there was a good chance of some sort of illegal activity going on; bookies needed extra lines to do their business whereas most regular folks would only have the one line, two at the most. The red flags for alerting Vice Division were the extra phones that only the criminal element would have.

Let’s see; there’s the line for my business, the dedicated fax line, the home phone which Lucy uses, my cell phone and lastly there’s Lucy’s cell phone. Interesting how a couple of decades changes the way things appear, normal or otherwise.

One of my neighbors stopped by yesterday evening while I was watering what’s left of my sun baked yard. I wave at everyone who passes by; part of a be neighborly approach to life. I didn’t really know this fellow; all the same he wanted to say howdy and leave his condolences for the loss of my next door neighbor who died last month from a severe heart attack. We talked about common interests, how long we’d been working, how long we’d lived in the neighborhood or where we went to church.

As he left he was looking at my business card and said, “Well, I’ll keep you in my prayers; but I won’t pray for my friends to lose a house key.” He laughed a light hearted laugh for having wished harm on anyone, even if only a joke.

“Oh, no; not house keys, I only work on cars and trucks.” I smiled back and had some fun. Maybe I need to call him on the phone; his business card is in my file now, get him to start praying for the loss of a car key; it’s been a slow start for a Friday.