Remember the old Christmas movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, where our hero is sitting in old man Potter’s office grabbing at his last straw after the deposit somehow got misplaced? Old man Potter knows where the money is; but far be it from him to return it to the rightful owner.
“George Bailey, you’re worth more dead than you are alive”, explaining how his life insurance policy would set things right; after all, it was George Bailey’s fault the money got lost, the bank examiner won’t care that it was an honest mistake.
This afternoon I got called out to one of my regular car dealerships to make keys for a couple of Cash for Clunker cars. “Why would they need keys for a car that’s headed for the scrap heap” you might ask. You’re not going to like the answer; but I’ll do my best to explain the lunacy behind such an imbecilic idea.
Some of these cars had to be hauled to the dealership on a wrecker, others limped in on their last vapors while others looked like they had plenty of life left in them; but because the government was paying premium prices they got used at trade in towards the purchase of a bright new and shiny fuel efficient vehicle. When I say the government was paying I hope most of you understand that in actuality taxpayers first were robbed by the government in order to obtain that money. In essence, you and I helped put our neighbors into a new car and supplied them with up to $4500.00, as long as they promised to destroy one vehicle in the name of “Let’s Go Green”.
My job as a locksmith is to make keys and in return I get paid; sounds fair enough. I charge just as much for a key that will work in a car headed for the crusher as for one that will be driven off the lot by the next proud owner; go figure. Today I made keys for some real winners, a 1995 Chevy pick up truck and a 1990 Aerostar; neither of them worth the price of the key I made; but they had to run in order to be destroyed properly.
The mechanic was happy to take the keys so he could go about the process of seizing up the motors. That’s right, he had to be able to crank up the motor once all the oil had been drained and then pour in a silicate solution to completely destroy the engine to be eligibility for Cash for Clunkers money. Wasteful as that may sound, it was not near as puzzling as he explained that some of the other Cash for Clunker units also had to be destroyed in the same way.
He listed a late model Dakota, newer than the one I’m driving with a Quad-cab, big V-8 motor and spotless body; nicer than mine and with fewer miles. He pointed out a pristine custom Dodge van that I could find nothing wrong with and the line of “Clunkers” kept on and on. Most were true Clunkers; but even so, why destroy a useful motor by running it until it locked up when it could easily be torn down, rebuilt and turned into a useful product?
“George Bailey, you’re worth more dead than alive”, that’s the way our efficient government sees things. I can’t wait until they take over health care like they have the car business; yeah, that will be so much better than what we have now.
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