Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Astros 10 Games 20 Dollars

I caught the headline on the latest email from the Astros ticket office. I thought they were offering fans $ 20 to watch the Astros play 10 games; not enough incentive having watched them field one of the best AAA teams in the majors. Maybe the front office could make it $30 and throw in a brown paper grocery sack to hide behind; fans wouldn’t be embarrassed sitting in the stands in the event a camera operator followed a foul ball passing near their seats.

You can hear the horse laughs at the water cooler, “Hey Stan; saw you at the game last night. Whooohaahhaaa! Was it the 1st inning where Carlos Lee tried catching the fly ball with his head instead of his glove or was that in the 2nd? You should’ve worn your free garbage sack prior to catching that home run by the Diamondback catcher; bet that was neat to throw back onto the field. Whooohaaahahahahaa!”

I was mistaken, the offer wasn’t at all like I’d thought; they actually expect fans to purchase tickets to watch this team wander around aimlessly on the field. I can see a return of the 10 run rule, like they have in Little League. The game’s over if the other team runs the score up by 10; let the fans get home in time to watch a good movie.

“Today, Tuesday, May 4th, $20 buys you tickets to 10 Astros games. Beginning at 9:00 a.m. CT, score Outfield Deck tickets to 10 select Astros home games for only $20! That’s $2 per ticket - a $50 savings per plan purchased! This offer highlights seven teams and three Friday Night Fireworks dates.”

“This incredible ONLINE offer will not last long, so take advantage of this fantastic deal before it sells out!”

If the Astros keep playing like this they can expect attendance to drop almost as fast as my stock portfolio did when Obama took office. They’ll need TARP bailout money just to keep Minute Maid Park open. Just think about this, I’m an Astros’ fan; what are others saying about them?

The Astros should start looking for work; helping clean up BP’s oil spill in the Gulf might be a good start, twelve hour shifts at near minimum wage is about all they are worth at the moment. It’s going to be a very long summer…


Starsplash said...

Ya they could call it the brown paper sack days, He he.

The probligo said...

Did they stop takg their pills/shots?


MK said...

They must be pretty bad when even fans are heaping scorn on them.

Sounds like it proby, but on the plus side, seeing how much you need it, that means more for you.

T. F. Stern said...

After last night they have their second 8 game "win challenged" steak. I think the only pills they might take, and the fans for that matter, would be anti-depresant pills.

Lucy Stern said...

Hey, they actually won tonight!!!