Dave, over at Dave’s Not Here, has an interesting article (linked via title bar) Men Shouldn’t Marry Before 25. Dave went on to say that such a claim is supported by scientific data in Men's Health Magazine:
"Why no man should marry before age 25
Quite simply, a man's brain is incomplete before then. Sure, his sexual organs are all present and accounted for, but his prefrontal cortex (PFC) is still developing. Which is too bad, because that's the part of his brain that's involved in judgment, impulse control, organization, planning, forethought, and learning from mistakes. And it won't be fully developed until he's 25."
I zipped out a short comment indicating how I’d met Lucy when I was 16 years old and knew right away that she was my soul mate; but we waited until I was 20 to get married. We’ve been married 35 years now and I can’t imagine life without her. The more I thought about it the more I was convinced to write a little more.
There may be something to the so called “scientific data”, that men’s brains are not fully developed; although I would tend to say that it would be all inclusive right up until the day mortality ends rather than restricting that to just young men. Remember the line from Zorba the Greek when asked if he was married, “Am I not a man, is not a man stupid; of course I’m married!” Who’s to say that our Creator didn’t design our brain to be incomplete to such a degree as to make it more complete by taking on your soul mate? Think about it; would a totally mature male fall head over heals in love, forget his name and babble on like a school boy while looking into the eyes of that young woman who might be his forever? Maybe I should strike that last line; older guys are probably overpowered by the spirit of a woman, maybe even worse since they know how quickly time eats up this mortality.
The scientific approach would explain why young men whose arteries are full of piss and vinegar join the military, the fire department or the police department. There is no logical explanation for placing yourself in harms way other than you might be missing part of your brain. I used to joke that before joining the Houston Police Department they would take you down to the medical center to have half your brain removed. I then added that the other half was removed if you wanted to join the motorcycle division. I may not have been too far off.
Getting back to young men being overcome by their immaturity; my first date with Lucy is clear in my muddled mind as if it were yesterday. That line from Gigi is bouncing around in my head as I write, “You were in red, I dressed in blue, Ah yes, I remember it well.” It was on June 16th and we had complementary tickets to see a movie downtown supplied by our boss at the Astrodome where we worked together. I was the “soda boy” and Lucy was the “popcorn girl” assembling mass quantities in the commissaries to be sold by the individual vendors at various sporting events. I admired her work ethic, strange as that might sound, doing what we were being paid to do as efficiently as she could.
The night of the date we had time to stop off at an old fashioned drug store on Main Street a few block from the theater, the kind that had a place to sit down and order food; we had ice cream. I read poetry to her and went on like a fool spilling my awkwardness with abandon. I was so taken by the moment that I forgot to pay for the ice cream as we floated down the sidewalk toward the movie house. Half way down the street it hit me and we raced back to pay, not wishing to be thought of as skipping out on the tab. I knew how dumb I felt and didn’t care as long as Lucy was smiling back at me.
My contention is this, how could I deny the importance of giving in to that over powering spirit witnessing to me that we were supposed to be together forever? It would be like denying that God has a plan for each of us, that we are his children and that he cares enough for each of us to supply our eternal partners for us. Scientific data, Ha!
Instead of wondering if you should get married; the more important concern would be to be able to jump in the pool, get totally immersed and learn how to swim for the rest of eternity. Marriage is a growth process, intended to be learned as both individuals mature together; key word is together. Elder Stanley, a General Authority for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was in Houston many years ago for some meeting I attended. He talked extensively on the importance of appreciating marriage and gave an interesting visual that has stayed with me all these years.
Elder Stanley placed his hands together, his palms touching with his fingers extended to form an angular wedge that, if extended from the finger tips, is ever expanding on into the eternities. He explained that the love young people feel for each other is represented by the palms touching and that it grows, emphasizing the expanding gap, with time, never ending as they learn more and more about the love they have for each other. This is not accomplished without effort, much as anything worth having.
Maybe what Dave meant to say or should advocate is that young men should accept the fact that they’re still immature and that they must commit their entire soul, not just a part of it, if they are to enjoy the eternal nature of marriage. Maybe we should all appreciate the divine nature of our marriages and in doing so, learn what real happiness can be.
TMH Bacon Bits has a Mid Week Open Post where anything goes that I like to link with. http://www.tmhbaconbits.net/2006/09/06/bbop-125/
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