Mandatory CPR Training at HPD

There was some rule that clearly stated that each officer working for the Houston Police Department had to be trained and tested in First Aid and CPR. Most of the time it would be during an 8 hour segment of the yearly 40 hour TCLOSE course. At one time I could have told you what TCLOSE stands for; but, having been retired for quite some time, it slipped my mind and I really don’t care.

The CPR class would be held in one of the smaller classrooms at the police academy, usually with the instructor and all the officers seated around one large table. The instructor was not part of the HPD staff; on loan for the day to try his best to get it over with. I was “thrilled” to be there, much like the rest of the officers; looking at the wall clock as it seemed frozen in the same position as the hours mounted.

The instructor was trying to involve each officer by creating situations where some kind of first aid training might come into use. He pointed to me and phrased the situation, “Let’s say you’re on patrol and notice a man down in a shallow ditch along side of the road; what’s the first thing you do?” I know he was looking for something like, “Check to see if he’s breathing, or some CPR kind of answer. I was up on current events within the Department so I had some fun.

“That depends, Sir, on what part of the City you are patrolling.” There was a blank look on the instructor’s face. “What would that have to do with anything?”

“Well, Sir, if you’re working Northeast the first thing you do is go through his wallet and pocket any money you find.” The room was rolling in laughter, all except the officers from Northeast; to them, this was not funny, not in the least.

The headline story the week before was all about some dipstick officer who’d been caught stealing money from drunks in the Northeast Patrol area. There were too many complaints coming in about money missing from prisoners; all of them had the same arresting officer. IAD went about setting him up, planted a fifty dollar bill in the pocket of a “target” suspect and had the dispatcher assign his unit to check for a “man down”. After the arrest and booking process had been completed IAD knew for sure that the officer had stepped over the “thin blue line” and become a thief. Sure enough when confronted the dirt bag officer had the marked fifty dollar bill mixed in with his own. It’s a shame that a few rotten apples can make the rest look bad; but, if you can’t have a laugh about it then why bother.