We’re all gonna’ drown!

If you’ve been keeping up with the U.N. science reports on man made global warming then it’s a foregone conclusion that we’re all going to drown as ocean levels rise from melting glaciers. 

‘“We believe that the mass loss is irreversible in the foreseeable future” assuming continued climate change, the scientists, based in the Netherlands and the United States, wrote in the journal Geophysical Research Letters.’

Never mind wondering if the government is going to go after your 401K retirement plan; the oceans are rising at alarming rates and we’re all gonna’ drown!

Chicken Little scare mongers are inseparably tied to their agenda of turning the clock back a few centuries, back to before mankind destroyed any hope of Earth’s survival. 

Had our ancestors never invented fire glaciers would still be intact.  If Thomas Edison hadn’t invented the incandescent light bulb we’d be living in caves, asleep when the sun went down and Henry Ford will rot in outer darkness for making it possible for the average ‘Joe’ to obtain a motorcar.  None of this global warming would have occurred had it not been for men tinkering where they shouldn’t have.

When men wearing blue U.N. uniforms with machine guns come by, if you’ll turn loose of your hard earned money, hand it over to a world governing body made up of third world tyrants and dictators who have nothing more than your well being at the top of their list, then perhaps we can put that money to use and save this wretched planet from capitalists who’ve industrialized the Garden of Eden.  Then the earth can return to a time when mankind hadn’t destroyed his children’s future, condemning them to a watery grave as the surf covers tenement buildings in the Bronx.

I’ve a pretty good idea how these ‘scientists’ arrive at their doomsday theories.  All they do is enter figures into a computer, doesn’t matter how or where those figures were obtained, the important part is the computer determines the outcome.  That way when they publish their findings, “Our computer generated models predict…”, sounds scientific to uninformed morons like me and my next door neighbors.

I was involved in a real scientific study years ago when we took our car to the beach.  We parked it on the flat sands well away from the dangerous on coming tide, a safe forty yards from the breakers.  When we first arrived it was early in the morning; we had the beach pretty much to ourselves and the air was pleasantly cool.

As morning progressed the beach became cluttered with vehicles; families out taking advantage of the ocean and adding to the global warming effect.  As more people arrived the temperature rose considerably; clearly the result of extra vehicles pouring CO2 into the atmosphere.

It should be noted the resulting temperatures likely caused glaciers far to the north to melt, adding to rise in the adjoining waters; the distance from the breakers to where I’d parked our vehicle was measurably closer, enough to wonder if we might be overtaken by the encroaching surf.

The temperatures continued to rise near mid-day and we decided to have cold cut sandwiches rather than roast hot dogs for fear the additional heat would further damage the eco-systems.  It was already too late; the rising waters had been set in motion.

Four hours had gone by and the waves rolling in were now causing us to be concerned for our safety.  I calculated, on my laptop computer, the rate at which the ocean’s edge was gaining on our position, gathered our belongings and tossed them in the car.  We decided the safest place to be, based solely on computer generated figures, was a move to Kansas to avoid certain death as we pictured in our minds the last icebergs evaporating off the coast of Greenland; vanished forever.

Had we only known the damage we’d been doing to Mother Earth, millions of cows expelling methane so we could have chocolate milk with our cookies; forgive us in our gluttony.  When they tell us to give more, we promise we’ll send the U.N. more than enough money to save the planet.

We’ve looked over the sustainable planning guide for apartment living and with a little more sacrifice, perhaps we will figure out a way to enjoy our 600 square foot apartment. The idea of sharing the showers and toilet facilities with ten other families will be something to get used to; but in the name of saving the planet we all have to do our share.

It won’t be long, we’re promised, computer generated maps provided by the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) bear out the indisputable facts; mankind has destroyed everything.  

On the bright side; after we’re gone there won’t be any man made global warming.  This old earth will be restored to its primeval grandeur, nothing but plants and four legged animals wandering around; yes my friends, we’re all gonna’ drown!

This article has been cross posted to The Moral Liberal, a publication whose banner reads, “Defending The Judeo-Christian Ethic, Limited Government, & The American Constitution”.