Saturday, December 30, 2006

It’s the End of the World! Again / Still

In the morning news I was reading Rob Gillies’ AP article, “Ancient ice shelf breaks loose” (linked via title bar). “A giant ice shelf has snapped free from an island south of the North Pole, scientists said Thursday, citing climate change as a "major" reason for the event.”

I glanced over the satellite image supplied and came up with multiple possibilities; other than, “A satellite image of the Ayles Ice Shelf in 2005 shows the collapse in the center. Scientists believe climate changes caused the shelf to break and form a new ice island in the Canadian Arctic”. The article failed to mention that NASA was on a tax payer funded mission to discover Santa’s toy factory to prove the “fat man” was in violation of child labor laws through repeated use of sweat shops filled with underage slave labor.

The easy way out would be to accept that the photo actually is a picture of some godforsaken wasteland that could have been used to film Star Wars. That lent itself to the next option; instead of it being a satellite image taken from space, it’s actually a picture of an Empire Storm Troopers helmet left out in the snow years after the filming of Star Wars. Lastly, and consistent with the Star Wars theme; it’s the charred remains of Darth Vader’s head piece. “Luke, you …already… h.. .a. . .v . . . . .e.”; gasping for a last breath before his eyes rolled up in what remained of his head.

Who do they think they’re fooling? Come on guys, next you’ll be telling us that Al Gore’s making another movie, “Unhappy Feet”; all about a bunch of penguins who got their funny looking feet covered with spilled crude oil that destroyed the environment when the pipe line sprung a leak, washed up on their beaches, after all the ice melted, while they were ordering Pina Coladas with those funny looking paper umbrellas hanging over the edge of the glass. May the farce be with you.

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