Monday, January 28, 2008

Harry Reid to Lead Mormon Church

In a surprise announcement expected to be issued later this afternoon, the governing body of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints purportedly will announce to the world that Harry Mason Reid will become the 16th President and leader of the Church. This announcement comes only hours after the death of Gordon B. Hinckley who lead the Church for over 12 years.

Sources close to Senator Reid have leaked information which would indicate that he plans to continue as Senate Majority Leader while holding down his new Church position. Senator Reid has long suggested, at least by his actions, that the Ten Commandments should never have included anything about stealing or bearing false witness. A little bird who wished to remain anonymous reported Harry Reid as saying, “Where else but the Senate can a man line his pockets and attain such power? Why would I want to give up a gold mine for a job that hardly anyone gives a hoot about?”

In other breaking news, Mitt Romney was instructed to drop his candidacy bid for the Republican nomination for President of the United States of America. This serves as validation to the well known supposition by the evangelicals that Romney has always gotten his marching orders directly from Salt Lake, headquarters for the Mormon Church.

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