Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Legislators Watched Too Much Disney



I read on the FoxNews site where hybrid cars are just too darn quiet and pose a danger to blind folks and other pedestrians ( who aren’t paying attention ).

“A bill intended to protect blind people and other pedestrians from the dangers posed by quiet cars will be introduced Wednesday in Congress.”

{…}

“The Baltimore-based National Federation of the Blind has pushed for the legislation to protect those who rely on their hearing to know when to cross the street.”

“While the organization is not aware of people being struck by cars they couldn't hear, NFB President Marc Maurer has said he fears it's only a matter of time.”

The first thing I thought of was an old black and white movie, The Absent Minded Professor, with Fred McMurray. He discovered Flubber, an interesting substance with anti gravitation properties which could be bombarded with energy to make it float. Upon installing Flubber in an old Ford Model A the professor was able to make his car move as if it had a real motor; with a little extra energy aimed at the Flubber it even flew. He had to make it sound like a real Model A so he also gave it sound effects; clattering valves and such so that folks wouldn’t suspect.

I can see trial lawyers licking their chops and calculating their take; there has to be a money angle in there somewhere worth millions to the first poor sucker who steps in front of a quiet car. I think I just found a new business, “Stern’s Anti-Muffler Service”. I’ll work out the details later, I’ll even throw in some visible pollution at no extra charge; nothing that will hurt the ozone, maybe some green food coloring sprayed into the air to make the tree huggers happy.

P. T. Barnum has got to be laughing from where ever he is; there’s money to be made here; and as Marc Maurer has said, “It’s only a matter of time.”

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