Friday, July 15, 2005

A few lose ends

Who forgot to fill the tank?

NASA is all a buzz because of a faulty
fuel indicator. Maybe one of the kids took the Space Shuttle out for a cruise the other night and forgot to top off the tank. Sounds more like “Leave it to Beaver” than a National Space program, “Hey Wally, I heard mom and dad were really pissed off at you for going to the drive in with Mary Ellen last night without getting permission to use the Space Shuttle. You better go find a few million gallons of liquid Hydrogen or you’re gonna’ be grounded for a gazillion years.” “Can it Beave, wait till they see I knocked off a tile or two backing over the mailbox.”

Still no word on my job request…

It only took less than 24 hours for my letter ( linked via title bar)
to President Bush to get things going. I see where Justice William H. Rehnquist has stated categorically that he has no intention of retiring now. Had I known my letter would have had that kind of reaction I’d have waited until the old geezer had already turned in his papers. Asked if he would stay on until the Second Coming, Justice Rehnquist reportedly stated, “That all depends”, however he may have been requesting a new Depends, a favorite choice among those in the know.

I hear there’s an opening for baggage inspector/rap singer

Maybe if the position for Supreme Court Justice falls through I could try for
baggage inspector at IAH. I know, you have to be able to rap out patriotic songs with terrorist overtones, “Fly me through the wall, let them burn in living hell, Blow their Christian bodies in a blue September Sky, In other words, let me kill you, America, I hate you.” (Think Tony Bennett or Frank Sinatra)

How many pounds of plastic explosives are you carrying today, fellow traveler? Did you pack the detonators or will that be in another piece of luggage, say the one abandoned over in the corner by that nice looking gentleman with the towel wrapped around his head? So, whose job is it to check the security on those checking security?

Hey Moe! Hey Moe! Doing my impression of Mel Gibson doing his impression of … I’ll need a stage name, how about, “Saudi Terrorist in Disguise” or “Koran This!”? Some of the cuts on my album; “The fuse went out in my shoe”, “I can’t Getmo…satisfaction” and “It only hurts for a little while”.

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