Friday, July 22, 2005
There are some serious things wrong with our great society based on a few of the indicators. I wonder if Nero is warming up his fiddle?
One of the billboards next to the freeway reads, “RU the Father?”, along with a brief explanation of the scientific method available to determine the responsible party and a phone number. I can understand how there might be a need for such; but enough to generate a full time business with a billboard to advertise? I ran a Yahoo search and it turns out that there is major competition in the field for this sort of DNA testing.
“Mom, I’m headed over to “RU the Father” after I get off work at “Table Dancers”. We had a great time last weekend over at one of the bouncer’s beach shack. I think his name is Bruno; not sure, that’s what’s tattooed on his inner thigh. It could be his boy friend’s name; who knows? All the guys from the club went along; after the chug-a-lug competition we all just had to do something and so we took turns peeing off the balcony.
That reminds me; I need to take your car in to have the upholstery cleaned; some guy puked all over the back seat. Glad you and Fred are so progressive; Glenda’s mom had a cow when she found out she was pregnant, jeezawhizz! It’s only a couple of hundred bucks for an abortion; why have a cow over that? Oh, and mom, have Fred submit a sample; I think he was at the party too.”
I can see this as a typical mother daughter conversation over pop tarts. Yup, house holds all over America have “RU the Father” punched into their cell phones in one of the speed dial slots.
“RU the Father, is this Mary? Our Caller ID shows that this is your third time to call which makes you eligible for our “Bumped Up Again” discount plan. This program provides for up to thirteen new male partner matches for the price of twelve. We like to think that “there’s one in the oven” shouldn’t be wasted when trying to find the cook so we came up with our own “Baker’s Dozen”; neat, huh? All you have to do is provide us a list of people you may have slept around with. Don’t worry if you can’t remember names or other silly little details. Our DNA tracking files are most comprehensive; heck, even the Criminal Courts come to us from time to time looking for a match.”
The agency of man, a doctrine that has been expressed as Liberty and Freedom, a gift from our Creator has taken some interesting turns. This morning I was reading an article on the Fox website, by Jennifer D’Angelo, about marriage vows and how these have been altered to reflect some of the current trends.
“Vows like "For as long as we continue to love each other," "For as long as our love shall last" and "Until our time together is over" are increasingly replacing the traditional to-the-grave vow — a switch that some call realistic and others call a recipe for failure.”
I can see how this improves society, oh yes, most impressive commitment levels to help our young people understand the sacred nature of marriage. Dang, there’s that word “sacred” mixed in with something common like marriage. I'm sorry, please forgive me, old habit.
“With this ring and my Continental Airlines Frequent Flyer card, I do plan to spend at least one weekend of riotous living shacked up at the local Motel 6.”; followed by, “I now pronounce you, Jack and George, morally corrupt; but legally bound until Monday morning”. I don’t think I’m prepared for this Brave New World.
Posted by T. F. Stern at 10:08 AM