Friday, July 29, 2005

Stem Cell Funding - Let’s Spend Some More Money

I see where Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist on Friday threw his support behind legislation to expand federal financing for embryonic stem cell research, as reported in an article on While quite a bit has been made of the moral implications of stem cell research, not much has been mentioned, if at all, about spending tax payer funds on such an endeavor.

I suppose we all think that NASA is the perfect example of public money having been spent for the greater good of mankind and so the establishment of government funded stem cell research would fall under the same umbrella. We need to have a proper name for such an organization, something that will look good as a logo.

National Stem Cell Life Saving Research Development Project Medical Optimal Spending Group, no that doesn’t have a good ring to it; how about something a little shorter. Maybe something with a Heinlein theme, “The Lazarus Project”; that has some possibilities, I like that already. The shoulder logo could be TLP with some kind of DNA spiraled helix. To be a proper governmental agency would require that vast amounts of tax payer money be spent to come up with such a logo, so never mind that I have already suggested this one; let some advertising agency come up with the same thing and charge us a half a million dollars to make it legitimate.

The Lazarus Project today has proven that life can be extended hundreds if not thousands of years, provided that you have an income bracket capable of paying for such a procedure. Qualifications are that you provide us a genealogical chart proving that at least 72% of your ancestors had red hair and lived to be at least 97 years of age. If your last name is listed in the Long ancestral files a short form is all that is required, that and a donation to The Lazarus Project to meet or exceed one half of your projected earnings for the next 10 years will guarantee an additional 100 years of renewed vitality and health. Remember, this research has been paid for with tax dollars and the benefits to all mankind are our legacy. “One small step for medical workers, one giant leap for big government”, that’s our motto.

With a ringing endorsement from Sen. Harry Reid, how can we go wrong? The idea of spending tax money for anything and everything under the sun will eventually drain the well dry. Regardless of the morality decision involved, spending tax payer money on something that could and should be limited to the private sector is wrong.

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