Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A Rose By Any Other Name…

We bought some ice cream on sale at the local Kroger’s store last week, the Private Selection brand was a “two fer”, down here that translates into; heck, y’all can figure that one out. They had one called Moose Tracks and another next to it called Extreme Moose Tracks; most any fool would know to get the one with more chocolate.

I did wonder why they called it Moose Tracks; picturing in my mind how a very large animal in the wilderness might leave indentions in the earth as it meandered about. What would Extreme Moose Tracks look like? I don’t think that should ever have been asked; continuing with the idea of a large beast wandering about leaving proof of its existence.

There are chunks of dark chocolate mixed in with Extreme Moose Tracks chocolate ice cream giving it texture and added flavor while the regular Moose Tracks has vanilla ice cream with chocolate chunks; that’s about the only difference I could see. I lifted a large scoop of Extreme Moose Tracks from the container and transferred it to my waiting bowl. A small portion of chocolate ice cream fell off the edge of the scoop and landed on the front of our white kitchen counter. It immediately melted into a dripping mess which had to be cleaned up.

Moose Poop, they could’ve called this stuff Extreme Moose Poop, not that it doesn’t have a great chocolate flavor; it really is a very good ice cream. I was thinking along the lines of mass marketing. In this day and age they could figure out a way to make Moose Poop the number one selling ice cream just on the name. One of the carbonated beverage companies might change to “Crap” or some similar disgusting term just for the slogan, “Drink a bottle of our Crap”; maybe not such a great idea after all. The truth in advertising folks would be happy; all the junk we eat should be labeled more accurately.

I’d better shut this down, the delivery truck is out front and the fellow wants to know where to place the two old fashioned high walled tubs. I don’t have a grape vineyard or a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean and my neighbors might get the wrong idea if Lucy and I started dancing around naked in the front yard while waiting for the right moment.

No comments: