All’s Well That Ends Well

My dad used to tell a story about the fellow who went to the doctor complaining he had a ringing in his ears. The doctor examines the man and after exhaustive tests which cost a fortune tells the man not to worry, “Your socks are too tight.”

While reading the morning headlines on FoxNews I ran across a short reminder that every now and then… but, don’t let me ruin it for you…

JERUSALEM — Dr. Baruch Mandeltzwieg knelt down and ripped open the jacket of a critically wounded man from Monday's homicide bombing in Dimona to begin emergency treatment. But instead of finding gushing blood, he was struck by another sight — an explosive belt.

The wounded man turned out to be a would-be suicide bomber who was knocked out by the force of the initial blast before he was able to detonate his own explosive belt.

{…}

Mandeltzwieg, who had rushed to the scene along with nurses from a nearby medical clinic, ran away as the second bomber began waving his arms. An Israeli policeman then shot the bomber at point blank range and killed him, police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said.

I suppose I could figure a way to alter the story, “Your belt’s too tight”, without destroying a classic too badly. A terrorist turns up at the morgue and one doctor asks the other, “Was he killed when the bomb detonated?” The other doctor says, “No, his explosive belt was too tight, his arms began flailing so the cop shot him.” While it doesn’t have the same ring to it, there is something profoundly funny about the ending.