Saturday, August 20, 2005

If I were King of the Forest, not Duke, not Prince not Earl…

I grabbed this one off of Dangerous Liberty’s site and he wants to know what you would do if you were prez., second hand as it came in from Say Uncle.

“SayUncle offers a thought experiment: If you were prez:

By some bizarre set of circumstances, you are the president as of now. Name the first 5 things you’d do. Level of difficulty: it must actually be stuff the president is
constitutionally allowed to do. “

"Put ‘em up, put ‘em up!" My lion’s tail swishing as I wear the broken potter’s clay crown that Tin Man and Scare Crow have provided me outside the doors that lead to the Great and Powerful OZ. "I’ll fight ya’ with one paw tied behind my back! Shucks, fellas, I was only …. " I'm doing my best imitation of Bert Lars and you should be grateful that I don’t sit behind the EIB microphone and have a ditto cam going.

Since our country has quit using the Constitution I don’t see that as much of an obstacle, maybe some English professor would mark off points for starting a sentence with the word since; shows a lack of something, not quite sure what. I have to admit, this is one of the better challenges to have come past me in quite some time. I enjoyed the movie Dave where the part time actor got to play president after the real one had a stroke. This challenge falls into that category of “what if”.

I’d have to go along with Dangerous Liberty’s notion of going before the public via a regular series of fireside talks to explain the dangers we face as a result of the Communist Agenda having been in place and progressing right along for so many years. That would have to be my first priority, enlighten the sleeping masses to the point of bringing them out of the stupor they now are in. This would require calling a spade a spade, as it were and so I would not make public appearances and become a walking target.

I would make short work of our ties to the United Nations, calling for a complete and total ( politicians are supposed to make redundant remarks for effect ) removal of funding and participation with those scoundrels.

I would call for emergency privilege and open up the Gulf of Mexico and the Pacific Coast for oil exploration and immediate drilling as a national security issue. I would also remove the obstacles placed in the way of the building of refineries for the production of useable oil products, primarily gasoline.

As part of this push to make America less dependant, or even totally dependant from foreign oil imports, I would make it a point to pull the rug out from under the so called environmental movement and classify most of these organizations as anti-American traitors.

I would start insulting each and every member of the Senate and House who, through their pork barrel spending habits have spent money that was in their stewardship without a thought as to the sacrifices made by those taxpayers whose money it truly is until such time as they were ready to step out back and duke it out with me. Mind you, I’m not all the proficient at a fair fight and so I would cheat; remember, I was a cop for twenty years and the City didn’t pay me to get hurt fighting those scum bags either.

There you have it, streets lined with happy citizens who finally understand how they have been played for saps. The threat of communism will have been exposed in all its various forms along with the socialistic jerks intent on destroying individual freedoms. Everyone’s future will be assured of an ample supply of oil to run the industries of our desires, all the gasoline we will ever need at a more reasonable price due to the added ability to refine it now that the Lilliputian circus trick obstacles have been removed there will be fewer headaches from having to put up with all that environmental crap. I will be a regular on the new reality television show that will bring in Nielson Ratings like you never would have imagined. I always wanted to punch Senator Kennedy in the nose.

"If I were King of the Forrrrreeessssstttttt! Let me at ‘em!"

A special thanks to Dangerous Liberty and Say Uncle for leaving the stage door open and the house lights down low. "Somebody just grabbed my tail, glad this isn’t San Francisco."

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