Thursday, October 12, 2006

Hezbo Toy Company

Catherine Donaldson-Evans of FoxNews reported in a story titled “Muslim-Themed Products Mimic Icons in American Popular Culture” ( linked via title bar ) wrote about how adapting Western pop icons to meet with Muslim tastes makes them sell better.

"If you adapt products, as all cultures do, to the local conditions, with a slight change of name and slight difference in the way they appear, then these products sell," said Akbar Ahmed, the chair of Islamic Studies at American University in Washington, D.C.”

It’s easy to see how such a statement is so insightful; just examine the adapted version of Mattel’s Barbie Doll. Hezbo’s Muslim version comes with a hijab ( shown in black; but available in many colors ), “Just like the one mommy wore before she blew herself up in the market place”. The loose fitting wrap easily hides detonator cord and wires. The “Jihad Joe Urban Warrior” comes with its own miniature strap on explosives and real C-4; no official uniform since blending in is important to infiltration. “Be the first on the block to take out infidel playmates!”, and remember, “Friends will always honor your memory as you await a reward of 21 virgins.”

The famous Mattel American Chatty Cathy doll has been refitted with digital technology; instead of, “Hi, my names Cathy,” the Hezbo Muslim doll spouts, “I’m Aasiyah, Convert to Islam or die!”, “Jemeelah proclaims, Death to all Infidels!”. This doll is selling especially well in the slums of Paris where second and third generation unemployed future terrorists reside.

Hezbo Toy Company is not affiliated in any way with Hasbro Toys. As a matter of policy, Hezbo Toy Company reserves the right to infringe on any and all patents associated with existing toys manufactured under different names by various legitimate manufacturers such as Mattel, Hasbro or Milton Bradley. Hezbo Toy Company, while acting independently and with impunity, is protected through the United Nations efforts to curry up with seriously deluded and armed militant organizations which stand against the evil empire of George Bush.
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