Time to Clear Cut and Run

I might catch a little flak for grunting in public, “Sgt. Who?” (link via title bar for explanation). I was looking over the list of blog articles recently posted that show up on my side bar under the title, Life Liberty and Property, a loose knit association of free lance writers which I am a member. I saw a new listing, http://www.dobbsreport.com/ , which I’d never noticed as I clicked to see what they had to offer. I’m still not sure this wasn’t some kind of joke to lure me into a rant; a group of environmentalists with a life’s purpose to save a tiny fish no bigger than a mosquito living in the peat bogs of Southeast Asia.

“The mission of Paedocypris.com is not only to educate people about these species of fish, but to create an environmental awareness and prevent extinction of all animals. Paedocypris, being newly discovered, we are not sure of the current living survival rate of the Paedocypris fish. One thing for sure, as an old saying goes, "One once of prevention is worth a pound of cure". We, the staff of Paedocypris, believe educating people about our environment and endanger species will help prevent many animals from extinction. What I really mean is "We should try to do what we can (NOW) to save these animals before its too late".”

I have a better idea; one that might make me some money here in the land of clear cut the trees and build shopping malls. Let’s make it mandatory for environmental whacko’s to properly identify themselves when they’re out and about in public. I’d suggest they wear orange jumpsuits; but that’s reserved for inmates at the county jail.

I know; have them put on seasonal camouflage from head to toe. Hunting season is just around the corner and with a little luck some drunk with a large bore rifle will accidentally mistake an environmentalist with Bambi wandering around behind the bushes.

Rush Limbaugh has his line of Club Gitmo fashion wear; I could start up a new line of clothing, “Save the Fish Fatigues”. Each complete ensemble comes in natural North American forest foliage colors blending the finest cotton for a comfort fit with no guilt for having destroyed the planet ( no synthetic materials ). The matching head gear, while a bit heavy and difficult to wear at first, looks exactly like an eight point buck at distances from fifty to two hundred yards when viewed through most rifle scopes. Each “Save the Fish Fatigue” comes with an organ donor card to be filled out prior to taking long walks in the woods; a special section of the card designating how much of your life insurance is to be donated to the insignificant endangered species of your choice.

In the event of your sudden demise, five acres of land will be clear cut of all vegetation to make way for yet another strip center mall in your honor. Please write legibly so that the plaque with your name can be properly adorned on a permanent marker.