Friday, June 17, 2005

Wish I’d had a Taser

I was reading Cerberus this morning. He had an article about some woman who got the working end of a taser applied and caught on video. For a chance to read how a police officer expresses thoughts this would be a good place to visit.

I stopped a woman downtown for a minor traffic violation; it was so long ago I couldn’t tell you what the violation was now. She was driving a little 260Z Nissan with “T-tops” removed. When I approached the driver she started off telling me all about the racial reasons for my harassing her and that she had no intention of cooperating with some Honky intent on continuing the oppression of the Black people. I hadn’t gotten to the part of saying anything to her and had to rethink the possibility that I was on Candid Camera and this was a set up.

I did ask her for her driver’s license and instead of anything resembling normal she stood up inside the driver side compartment and then climbed on top of her car, sitting with her arms folded as she reclined on the T-top bar. I looked around to see if the sky had turned to red, burning hail falling or some other indication that would justify mass hysteria; no, it was limited to this one individual. I did happen to notice that one of my supervisors was across the street working his regular extra job duty at a bank drive through. He had his hands on his hips and was shaking his head in disbelief. I was more than a little grateful that I had a competent witness, one who could back up my observations when this all came down later in the complaint.

“Ma’am, I need you to hand me your driver’s license and get back into your seat. That’s my supervisor…”, pointing to the Sergeant now standing a few step closer as he expected the fight to start at any moment, “… he’s wondering why I haven’t put the cuffs on you already.” I hesitated while she thought about the information I had given her. “… or you can continue to act like a */#$ing baboon and go to jail, your decision.” She handed me the driver’s license, sat down in the seat and was so pleasant the rest of the interview as to believe she was running for office and I was a potential voter.

Darn, Taser technology had not reached the street officer at that point in time, wish I’d had a Taser that day and zapped her baboon butt so fast she’d of thought the banana was a treat. This one got logged as “it never happened”, at least no formal complaint was ever filed and I simply wrote her out a traffic ticket. Life goes on.

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