Father’s Day

I read Lucy’s article that she posted last night about her dad. It made an impression of me of how much a father’s example goes toward making a family unit work. I listened to the talks at church this morning; again the role of the father and how awesome that responsibility weighs on the shoulders. I wanted to add my own feelings, to draw out my own thoughts as Father’s Day is not reserved for those who have children; but for all who have been born, regardless of the relationship developed with your father.

My own father is a good example of the complexity involved in defining that role model. He used to be tall as a tree until I grew up and found that he was about average compared with other dads. He was strong as an ox, able to break the handle off of a pair of pliers while trying to use them instead of box wrench. I watched him play softball and was convinced that he was the best player ever to wear a first basemen’s glove. He knew almost nothing about repairing cars and it didn’t cause me to doubt his being my dad or if he loved me. I have a picture of dad standing next to our broken down car up in New England while on vacation one year. It had overheated and steam was pouring out of the engine compartment with the hood up. Dad had on a red pull over shirt and the veins in his neck were all swollen, the color of his face matched the shirt as he attempted to look like he had everything under control.

He was efficient in the kitchen as long as you didn’t mind eating strange combinations of sandwiches. He would line up the bread, slap peanut butter on one, jelly on another, bologna on one, cheese on another and repeat until he had enough to feed all three of us. The next step was a challenge; maybe he wasn’t meant to be up that early in the morning fixing sandwiches as he randomly selected which combination was to complete the sandwich, cheese/peanut butter, jelly/ bologna and so on. Lunchtime at school could be a meal worth missing.

The point is that it never mattered whether or not he could fix the sink, the car or make a better sandwich than the other fathers, he kept doing whatever he could to make things work. I knew that he was always doing things for me and my family and that was enough; the rest makes for some interesting “growing up stories”.

When Father’s Day came up as a lesson to teach my kids at church I knew there were some whose fathers were “unavailable” for one reason or another. I made sure to address the issue carefully and to feel out the emotions of these children. The lesson to be learned was mine as I found that each of these children had a deep an endless love and appreciation for their fathers, regardless of how I would have silently condemned them for making life difficult on these kids. Some were in single parent situations because of divorce, one had a father who had died and another’s father was in prison. Each of them had a special place reserved in their hearts for the “image” of a father they may not really have had. It did not matter what kind of fathers the other kids had, their father loved them.

As I go about the duties of being a father I hope that my own children will have a special place reserved in their hearts for me, ignoring my shortcomings and holding the “image” of their father instead.

Here are some articles I posted in the past that seem to be related to Father’s Day:

http://tfsternsrantings.blogspot.com/2005/02/foot-in-mouth-disease.html

http://tfsternsrantings.blogspot.com/2005/02/icthy-michalanous-extincta.html

http://tfsternsrantings.blogspot.com/2005/02/rituals.html