Caribou, It’s What’s For Dinner

Yesterday I heard Hillary Clinton solve the energy shortage issue; a brilliant and detailed plan that will make life better for all of us. She had just gotten out of the “Way Back Machine”, the one that was highlighted on the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show as she addressed the National Press Club meeting. Sherman and Dr. Peabody escorted her directly to the podium as she shared her insight, her solution to the high cost of gasoline and how to make the dollar stretch far enough for the little people. I’ve linked to Rush Limbaugh’s site which had a partial transcript of that speech via the title bar.

“The 55 mile speed limit really does lower gas usage, and wherever it can be required and the people will accept it, we ought to do it. But there are other things that we ought to do it. At every gas station, there ought to be a little sign which says, "Have you checked to see if your tires are inflated to the right pressure?"

"If you do that you also save gas mileage. I mean, there are things that can be done.”

Thank you Hillary for that powerful message and your leadership as our nation is faced with energy shortages and dependence on foreign sources of fuel. That took extraordinary courage and character.

I have a better idea, one that might not be so popular, that might provide the necessary incentives to become independent from foreign oil by taking advantage of the resources currently available. It has been explained that the oil reserves off the coast of Florida are equal to or larger than those in the Middle East. There is enough oil in the northern reaches of Alaska’s ANWR region to significantly reduce our dependence on foreign oil. It has been suggested that alternative energy, such as wind generated electricity, could reduce our dependence on oil in areas which naturally lend themselves to such production. Why then, have we not tapped into these existing supplies?

Well, the folks in Florida claim that their beaches are far more important than any oil that might be found off their coast. The environmentalists have woven a tapestry of fear and destruction which they claim is directly tied to the exploration and drilling of oil. The Manatee and Caribou could never survive if Big Oil were to invade those areas. Our coastlines would be covered with oil slicks and the bird population would be devastated. Our visual serenity would vanish like the Dodo bird if we were to install hundreds, make that thousands of wind turbine electric generators along the New England coast. Isn’t that about the sum of it?

Here’s my idea, not the solution; but an incentive program to ignite a proper awareness in the minds of those who fit into the previous paragraph. The solution will only come about when the United States becomes energy independent; which means that we will have to have our own oil and other forms of energy that permit us to live in a life style conducive to and supportive of that which we have come to enjoy. It does not include slowing down to 54mph in order to save a third of a penny, sitting in a cold apartment with the thermostat set 5 degrees colder in winter or setting it 5 degrees warmer in the summer time in order to make ends meet. Our energy policy should be geared toward meeting and exceeding the demands placed on it and when that has been achieved the price of that energy will naturally stabilize.

The first part of my incentive program, maybe it should be “insensitive” program, would be to place a specialty tax on gasoline, say 3 dollars per gallon, in those states which have shown a reluctance to support our becoming energy self sufficient. This would be paid directly to those states which are taking all the risks, doing the dirty work so that the entire country will benefit.

I would start with Florida, their having been the most recent state to deny the rest of the country huge oil reserves that are located just off their coast. I think it would be fair to say that if Florida were to allow Big Oil to tap into those oil fields and permitted to build the necessary refineries that produce the commodities that we all use, then it would take our country one step closer toward the goals I’ve mentioned.

I would place that same specialty tax on the folks in New England, more precisely those in Massachusetts where that blow hard, the honorable Senator Kennedy, alias, “The Swimmer”, shot down the idea of having wind turbine generated electricity because it would spoil the waters he uses for sailing and ruin the view there at Martha’s Vineyard. I guess those folks all go sailing because they can’t afford gasoline powered rigs.

Next on that list of areas to impose the incentive specialty tax would be Alaska, which is really just a large extension of the California Left Coast line. Excuse me for a moment while I put another rack of Caribou ribs on the barbeque, “Got any more Heinz Ketchup for those burgers, Hun?”, sorry, where was I. ANWR, shamwar, ( forgive my poor attempt at Yiddish) that’s how I see it; oil is what makes the economy work and you have to get it out of the ground first. Until we find a better way we’re stuck with oil and the risks that go with each and every part of that production.

“Hey, I’ve never had Caribou before; ya’ know, it does taste just like chicken…”