Civilian Traffic Enforcement Officers

Houston, Texas

Mayor White has proposed training civilians to assist the understaffed Houston Police Department as a possible solution to some of the traffic problems in and around the city. ( link in title bar )

Police Chief Hurtt, working closely with the mayor has no firm plans as to how such a project might work. “I’m just trying to save my job by currying up to the Mayor” or something like that escaped his lips in an off the record remark.

“The new "civilian traffic enforcement'' program would be modeled after an ongoing training program involving about 100 people for duty at parades and other special events, Hurtt said. The program will spare the city from having to pay the officer’s overtime, he added.”

“McDonalds and other fast food industry specialists have proven that any idiot can work a cash register; all we have to do is change a few things, put pictures of a stop sign, a red light, a radar gun for these CTE’s to identify as they issue traffic tickets.” Chief Hurtt added that most of this was a publicity stunt to take some of the heat away from a recently implemented automated camera enforcement policy which has come under fire recently.

“We needed to add several million dollars to the City budget and what better way than to have a money machine located at every intersection working around the clock three hundred and eight five days a year.” He then added, “These cameras never call in sick, never talk back, never accidentally shoot innocent bystanders, and never ask for a raise”.

When reminded that there were only 365 days in a year Chief Hurtt simply shook his head and blurted, “Whatever…”